How To Deal With Infidelity



So you want to know how to deal with infidelity? Well I guess you could call me an expert on the subject of coping with adultery.

As you probably know, my husband Ronnie and I were married for twenty eight (28) years, and because of lying, cheating, drugs and numerous counts of infidelity we divorced for seven (7) years.

Needless to say, in 1996 God miraculously reconciled us and we married for the second time.

People have asked, “Why do you say God miraculously reconciled you?” I am quick to respond that if you knew all the gory details you would know it truly is a miracle.

I know we will all deal with infidelity differently depending on the circumstances. I encourage you to purchase my book on our Marriage Infidelity Recovery - Love That Would Not Let Me Go,to get each blow by blow account of the whole twenty eight years going from devastation to reconciliation.

I will take the time now to tell you what I’ve learned and try to help you deal with infidelity more sanely than I did.

  1. Make sure your sources are reliable. I don't mean for you to go and contract the T.V. show Cheaters, but at least don't just take someone's word who might want to see your marriage break up.


  2. If your spouse confesses. Take a deep breath, step back away from him/her, gather yourself and ask the Holy Spirit to help you calm down so you can hear and see clearly.


  3. What you do next is up to you and the Holy Spirit. If you need to go outside and get some air, do so. If you are ready to hear the rest of the confession, then sit and be prepared to hear some things you never dreamed possible. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you grace to hear it. Do ask questions like who, when, where, what and why?


  4. If you have obtained evidence from text or phone messages, emails or pictures make sure you document it or make a copy if you can. More people have been busted by that telephone and emails than I can begin to tell you.


  5. With evidence in hand, make sure the children are no where near and choose the perfect time to very calmly present the evidence and ask for an explanation.


  6. If she/he gets angry and violent, back off and just let them know that you know and that you do need to talk. Please don't get violent yourself. I know I wanted to rip Ronnie's lips off but I didn't.


  7. How to deal with infidelity, you seek Godly counsel. There are good Biblical counselors out there. Talk to someone you can trust not to tell all of your business. Someone who has been in or dealt with infidelity successfully in the past. Talk to someone who will point you to the Bible for answers and not to the divorce court.


  8. Remember this is the end of the world as you knew it, but not the end of the world. There can be life after infidelity.


  9. How to deal with infidelity, go straight to God. If He could give Ronnie and me a new and wonderful, hot for each other marriage, he can do it for you.


  10. Last but certainly not least in how to deal with infidelity, you absolutely Must Forgive (Matt. 18:18-35 & Mark 11:22-26). Go back on this website and follow step by step How to Forgive. You won't be able to move forward in your life until you forgive.