Forgiving Infidelity:
12 steps through Christ


Forgiving infidelity is not really all I’m going to share with you on this page.
Rather than talk to you about infidelity alone, I want to share with you how to forgive anything and anybody.

12 steps to forgiving infidelity

  1. First you must realize and confess that unforgiveness is a sin. Ask God to have mercy on you for holding it for so long (1 John 1:8-10). Don’t try to justify your feelings by thinking this hurt me too much and showing mercy to them will be like saying what they did to me was not wrong. That's not what I'm saying at all. What it is actually saying is that "I refuse to give that person and the act they committed against me and God, the ability and power to keep me from the very BEST life God has for me". Plus, the scripture says if you don’t forgive, God won’t forgive you (Mark 11: 25). It is as simple as that.
  2. Next you must repent. Turn and go the opposite direction, with the intent not to do this again. Confessing and Repenting are two different things.
  3. Make a list of the people who have wronged you. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you who they are. You might be surprised to find out that you are one of them.
  4. Write them all a letter that you will not deliver. God is giving you the opportunity to write your own Psalms like David did. Keep in mind you will NOT mail these letters. This is for your deliverance.
  5. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you to write these letters. He will probably bring to your remembrance some hidden seed that was sown years ago. A seed that is now producing fruit that you had forgotten about. Confess it, and then say out loud, "I put it under the Blood of Jesus" and continue to write.
  6. Write about how this person has made you feel. “How could you do this to me? “This was such a horrendous betrayal.” “What about our children?” etc. Get it all out and on paper. You are emptying out all of the venom and poison that has been eating away at you and aging you and giving you headaches, stiff neck, back pain, arthritis and even cancer. Get it all out.
  7. Then at the end of the letter you write, “But I forgive you in the Name of Jesus, by the Blood of the Lamb.” The scripture says, “Without the shedding of blood there is no remission of sin (Hebrews 9:22). We must apply the Blood of Jesus that was poured out for us at Calvary to the process of forgiveness. The power in His Blood begins to protect and cleanse our thoughts, our mind, our heart and our emotions (Hebrews 9:13 & 14).
  8. Next, tear the letter up into a thousand pieces and throw it in the trash. You’ll be able to see it for what it really is, Trash!
  9. If you have done this from your heart, you will experience a release in your spirit. Truly you have been released as you have released the other person(s).
  10. Now mark the date you did this. Not if, but when the enemy, who is Satan, tries to bring that old stuff up again, you say out loud to the Lord, “Father, I thank you that I forgave______ on whatever date it was, Nov. 9th, 2009 in the name of Jesus by the Blood of the Lamb.”
  11. God hears you, the enemy hears you and you hear yourself and you are writing that truth on the tablet of your heart by saying it out loud. “Your tongue is as the pen of a ready writer (Psalm 45:1).
  12. Remember God is Faithful but the enemy is Not! He will bring that stuff up to you for a while, but when he sees you are serious about being free and extending mercy, he will leave you alone on that one and try something else. He knows he is defeated but he wants to see if you know he is defeated.

What you have just read is how the Lord taught me personally, years ago, how to forgive. I didn’t get this out of a book. It has worked and continues to work for us today and we want to share our success with you.